The body language of Confidence

Show your confidence without uttering a word. 

Your body language of confidence is what says it loud, your aspirations and determination. It’s your body language of confidence, which reveals the strength of your personality.

How serious would you take someone with drooled shoulders and anxiety written all over his face? There’s an apparent reason to speculate your obvious answer, body language.

Your body language is the first impression of your beliefs and the strength of your personality. These non-verbal cues make our words more meaningful by adding emotions to it. That’s why often it’s how you say it more than what you say.

How about if you could mesmerize the onlookers the moment you enter a room? How could you impress someone in moments despite it being the first time they see you. At first, a great deal of it descends to your appearance—from how you dress to how you wear your hair. But the ultimate way by which you communicate with anyone you meet more than any word that your tongue speaks is what your body speaks.

“You are in charge of [the message] you are conveying,”

Barbara Pachter writes in her book The Essentials Of Business Etiquette. 

Accordingly, people don’t see or sometimes even bother about what and how you feel. All they perceive is what you present, relying more on what they see than what they hear. Non-verbal communication hence getting more credibility than verbal communication. Following body language tips would be appropriate to convey confidence.

Two males speaking

1. The positive eye contact

Most, if not all, the communication begins with eyes. More importantly, here, it shows both your nervousness and confidence. 

Looking into the eyes while communicating is essential as it does nervousness otherwise. And for it not to look intimidating, you have to know how much to watch, that’s why I say it’s an art. Yes, that’s why communication is a skill.

As says the wall Street journal that adults make 30 to 60 percent of eye contact while they speak, whereas they should be doing it 70 percent. As I said, it is not more than that; even 90 would be creepy. 

According to a study from the Idiap Research Institute, eye contact shows a person’s social hierarchy and dominance in a conversation. It’s all in those eyes.

2. Warm handshake

confident handshake

A warm personality has a warm handshake, and a strong personality has a strong one. Have you met someone who had pressed your hand obnoxiously hard? Some people just like to show dominance by every means.

You may anticipate someone being an introvert, arrogant, cautious, or indulged in inferiority while shaking hands. The handshake was a way to gain trust by showing that they were unarmed in ancient times.

There are types of handshakes depending on the kind of personality and the mindset. People with a craving for dominance like to initiate the handshake, have a firm grip, prefer an upper hand with palms facing down, and may even guide you through by pulling you over. 

Introverts have a shy handshake, which resembles more to the touch than a shake. They’re eager to finish the process and hence don’t enjoy a handshake.

A confident handshake is essential for a confident body language, the one with a smile and direct eye contact.

3. Effective gestures

nonberbal communication gesture

We’ve often heard that we communicate a lot more in gestures than we do with words as much as the ratio 90 is to 10. 

Possibly speaking, you’re missing 70% of the message if it’s without gesture. Let me tell you that the message isn’t only the words and phrases we utter; it is instead the conveyance of thoughts and emotions. These certainly require more than words to convey. 

We often feel short of words to convey the right message. And sometimes silence says it all. Hence confident body language gestures are something to learn and use. 

4. Dress for the moment

Is it dress a part of body language? Maybe, but let’s keep the debate for some other time. 

All you need to remember as for now is that when you’re a useful tool for communication, it should look good. And that too communicated something, a lot indeed.

5. Authoritative posture

confident posture

You must’ve heard about the power posture, Amy Cuddy Ted talk is what you need to see right now if you haven’t.

Alright, where are you sitting right now? How are you feeling at the moment? What’s your level of confidence? Let’s do an activity, spread your arms, stand straight, then have your first on your waist if that wouldn’t be wired if anyone is around, of course. 

How does it feel? It has shown to inculcate an instant boost in self-confidence. Now next time you feel low, find a place, and do the pose to refuel your confidence. 

Posture is the baseline of the body language of confidence. Nothing would fit into the context if you don’t attain this. Confident posture standing is a portrayal of confidence in a glance, the impression of a strong personality

6. Let the expression speak too

Though we spoke about the gestures here, I feel that the facial expression is just with the emphasis. It’s not difficult to fabricate an expression, but it is to make it look genuine.

Hence faces have a hard time trying to keep the pace with a lie. They’re sort of hard-wired to reveal the emotion, the truth that lies inside. 

A face could be called as the focal point of the body language of confidence. The more calm and relaxed your face is, the more confident you’ll look. 

7. Audacity of initiation

As already said that the strong personalities prefer to initiate their handshake, they’re the ones who start every social interaction.

You need the courage to initiate something, even if it’s a conversation. Initiating will give you an upper hand and better control over the situation.

Define communication
Interpersonal communication

8. Watch your tone

Precisely speaking, this one is more what body language of confidence sounds like more than what it looks like. According to a research done in 1971, Albert Mehrabian published a book Silent Messages in which he tried to show the emphasis of nonverbal communication in which of the total interaction, 38% is the tone of the voice out of the whopping 93% of nonverbal communication. 

Well, I don’t at all insist on the rectification of the figures, but I’m quite convinced by the fact that it’s more important than words. Imagine someone telling you that he has terrible news with a smiling face. What would you trust more? Words or face? Quite an obvious, right?

Hence the tone gives vocal signals of a strong personality, a voice of confidence, or the subtle shivering signaling nervousness. 

9. I am all yours, pay attention. Lean forward

Body language of confidence
Be attentive

Being a good listener is a critical part of communication; you can’t have a good conversation without being a good listener. Moreover, communication is more about listening than speaking. Or else it would lack the tune and tweak required, which without feedback, isn’t possible anyway. 

Hence for a person with the body language of confidence, it’s like people approach you because they value your opinion; they count on your confidence. Therefore they have a lot to share with you; they admire your time and appreciate it. 

So give them the attention they need, it’s a two-way exchange. Show that you are attentive, show that you also value their time and words and that you are genuinely interested in being of any assistance and support. Lean forward to show how seriously you are into their conversation. 

10. Receive the nonverbal cues.

You have to show how attentive you are by not only listening but also by watching; it’s more than an eye contact if you think that already spoke about it then. It’s about observing what nonverbal feedback you are getting along with the verbal ones. 

Also, lack of focus and visual attention is a sign of low confidence in body language as people with little confidence body language tend to be reluctant to listen. 

11. Use your hands consciously

Man expressing
Use gestures

An influential body language is incomplete without the involvement of the most powerful organ, hands. Let them see it. Use it, let the hands speak. Imagine a scenario if I point my finger up towards the sky while asking you to look down, enough said, I guess. Let them synchronize with your words.

While you communicate, don’t hide your hands in your pocket, which also sort of creates an illusion that you are trying to hide something. Also, show your hands from the open side, not otherwise to gain trust; this also indicates that you have nothing to hide and are trustworthy. Openhand is a part of the body language of a confident leader. 

12. Mirror the body language

People get along when they are alike, more the merrier. More like-minded people have a better chance of communication, a more clear and uninterrupted one. But how do you go along with someone who is not so like-minded? 

Here’s the trick, create a synchronization with them physically. Sort of mimicking, not very obvious though, but mirror what they are doing in terms of body language, expression, and even the breathing pattern.  

13. Don’t fidget

A big no-no happens, which typically when you fail to make your mind what to do or how to portray yourself. Like when you get preoccupied with the thought of what to do with your hand and how to sit etc. Don’t fidget, not with your hand, not with your feet nor with your fingers. 

Being confident

14. Chin up. 

Sort of a gesture of a proud body language, but be proud of being confident. Don’t be arrogant. Know the difference between confidence and arrogance; you’ll be hated for being arrogant and loved for being sure. Keep your chin high to retain your body language of confidence. 

15. They are watching your feet too.

Don’t think that nobody else is watching them if you aren’t. Trust me, they are, and it’s of huge, immense importance. It tells them where your interest lies if you’re in the presence of more than one.

Also, take long, confident steps when you walk, don’t lose your balance and keep then aligned with your hip for the same. 

The power of body language is tremendous as it plays a crucial role in creating rapport and reputation. In your journey to success, it’s vital not to skip or neglect this aspect of your personality

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