Think of why would you be jealous or feel unhappy about something which isn’t relevant to you, at least not directly? How can something relevant to someone else sadden you?
It would have been a rational thought had it been your loss. But what if it isn’t? What then is the reason for your depression? And most importantly how to overcome jealousy?
It’s natural
Let’s admit it, maybe it’s quite natural to evoke that sense of envy. But is it the desire to achieve what you see someone else has? And if it is this then it certainly isn’t condemnable, and I’m quite sure it was supposed to be this.
Understandably, we all wish the best for ourselves. How good it would have been if I owned that same car or watch or house or whatever. Nothing objectionable, not yet. Not until you desire his loss more than you desire your gain.
Though the feeling of desire is natural, just that when we lose the balance of emotions it becomes jealousy. And it’s ridiculous. Know that it’s OK to be jealous but it’s not OK to react to that emotion.
If you hate those who are jealous you should hate yourself:
Don’t you hate those who are jealous and express their jealousy? Some way or the other. What if someone is jealous within though portraying a smile? Isn’t he committing two sins, being jealous and being a hypocrite?
Jealousy and insecurity
Jealousy comes with insecurity. But why should you be insecure after all? Isn’t insecurity the sense of the raised possibility of losing something? Then how on the earth is someone’s gain your loss? Why should someone’s happiness trigger your sadness?
Let me tell you the secret of all the jealous people out there. This sense of insecurity comes from deep down inside the feeling of inferiority complex. Normally, one gets jealous of something unachievable by him, or sometimes he doesn’t want to share his part of success with others. Inferiority complex isn’t it? Often if not always at least. It is not helping anyone.
I mean, did you think of it logically? What are you getting exactly by that feeling? Is it not consuming your energy? Think of it, it must be draining you out. But is it worth it? You must find a way how to overcome jealousy.
Jealousy and possessiveness
As I said, we get possessive of even things like success. As if it was our own, whereas it isn’t. Success belongs to every hard worker who deserves it. Not only me, or you, or anyone else. There are people in the world who are working harder than me by all means, maybe the person I’m jealous of.
How come then I deserve it more than that guy? Twist us around and I will certainly feel it unjust if I couldn’t achieve success despite the extra effort I put in than the other guy, why not if he’s the one putting that extra effort?
It’s not just attaining success, it’s the ability to share your success that drastically raises your capacity to gain more of it. Seen the managers and bosses who are happy when their employees get successful? Those are the ones who are liked and admired and normally are the ones who get success.
Yet better ones are those who even embrace if someone manages to achieve more than what they did. Big heart huh? But then, this very quality still keeps them above them and everyone else, and ultimately be more successful.
Being Possessive in a relationship
People often get possessive in a relationship too. I don’t know whether you’ve experienced it firsthand or been on the receiving end.
It could either be a consequence of jealousy or could also be in a safe range which is essential without which you won’t get care.
They deserved it
You have all the right to be angry if someone has snatched what belongs to you, fair enough right? But what if someone took what already belonged to him? Something which was already his possession, and it has nothing to do with you? What are you thinking? Who cares right? I wouldn’t either.
But still, why do we care sometimes? More of bothered sort of, quite annoyed. It was his already, I never claimed it mine, he took it, he has it, he owns it. Why on earth should that bother anyone else? Especially those who aren’t relevant at all.
The thing is, everyone gets what they deserve. And if you think otherwise, then at least you don’t deserve to be the person who burns himself for others’ happiness and success.
Audacity to Express the jealousy
I’ve seen people who dare to express their jealousy. I mean I was flattered when someone expressed that he was jealous of me, and know what? I didn’t mind a bit. I’ve begun to admire that attitude.
People who aren’t shy of them being jealous, who understand that it’s perfectly normal. Those who don’t go for a very apparent attempt to hide their emotions. And the succumbing emotion giving away the artificiality eventually, to their humiliation.
They are audacious enough to express their faults, to laugh at its face. The biggest meritorious aspect in them is their honesty, they’re not artificial. They are not attempting to enclose their emotions behind a fabricated smile. This drastically increases the possibility of the mistake is corrected. At least they don’t rely on one more mistake to cover the previous one.
How to overcome jealousy by sympathetic joy
It’s easy to feel joy for ourselves. But when it comes to merry for others, greed, envy, wrong judgment, and prejudice make it difficult for us. Why can’t we be happy for others? Despite everyone being willing to share their happiness, why it doesn’t work that way, at least not always.
What do we have the parties for? Marriage, birthdays, promotions and you make them, we call others to join in our happiness. We expect others to join us in happiness and celebrate. To feel happy with us.
Why do people fake it if they aren’t happy at all? Primarily one is jealous if he is, moreover he’s faking it too, which makes him a hypocrite. Who wants to be a hypocrite damn it?
Humbleness
You can only be jealous if you consider yourself the superior person who deserved what someone you’re jealous of has got. Humble people are loved ones for the very reason that they value everyone and often prefer others over themselves.
This could explain why jealous ones are generally not admired ones. Come on, everyone knows when you’re jealous even if you try to hide it, most of the time at least.
Ignore jealousy to overcome jealousy
As said earlier, jealousy sometimes comes naturally. If you are to restrict it, you might not succeed every time, unless you’re a spiritually strong person of course.
Times when you couldn’t avoid it and the inevitable unwanted emotion rises in you then just ignore it. Yeah, you heard me, ignore it. It’s not you who wants it and it’s not you who asked for it. Then why should you be the one who responds to it? To hell with it.
Even if it’s in there trying to burn you into ashes, just smile at it, trust me it’s like making fun of it at its face. And you won’t be accommodating the temperature required for the fire of jealousy to burn in you. And forcing the fire to succumb without a chance to burn is how to overcome jealousy.
Happiness should result in happiness
The trigger for jealousy is success, achievement, promotion, and happiness. Now my question how do you feel when someone smiles at you? I mean don’t you smile back?
You do, and ask yourself why? Because every smile procures another smile and likewise every happiness should result in happiness.
Now how on earth can one be angry if smiled at? There has to be something wrong. Thinking this way, now how can you be jealous when you see happiness? Makes sense?
It’s illogical
It’s vividly illogical for the obvious reason that being jealous gives you nothing. Think about it, what benefit has it got for you? Even if the person whose achievement has triggered your jealousy is deprived of what he has achieved, does that help you anyway?
Don’t tell me that it will make you happy because that would be the most damaging blow to your spirituality.
Though that desire itself is fulfilled, we have to understand that every desire is not worth fulfilling, especially the ones which are built on others’ sorrows and pain like jealousy. Fulfilling a desire is not an achievement, we desire to procrastinate, but procrastination is not an achievement by any means. In a nutshell, it makes no difference, you shouldn’t bother.
Acknowledge it
You can overcome a problem only if you know that it exists. And it’s only then that you can address the problem or even express it as we have discussed earlier where I said that develop the audacity to express your jealousy.
You need a spiritual awakening to be capable to evaluate your feelings. If you can recognize the emergence of jealousy in you, that’s the first step of overcoming it and then you can think of how to overcome jealousy.
Now how on earth can one be angry if smiled at? There has to be something wrong. Thinking this way, now how can you be jealous when you see happiness? Makes sense?
Jealousy in relationships
I would consider this as an exception as one is in a tough situation if he is cheated. The term jealous doesn’t seem to be very appropriate in most cases, rather envy would fit better.
In situations of relationship jealousy, nobody would appreciate the breach of commitment. It hurts, and it affects, I cannot say that it has no impact on one’s life, because it does, a huge impact rather. We’ve had cases of depression and even suicide. We humans take relationships seriously
We’ll speak about jealousy in relationships some other time, as we’re discussing how to overcome jealousy, the one in which you are just envying someone else’s gain despite it making no difference for you.
“Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy – in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other. ”
-Robert A. Heinlein
Remember everything is achievable, you just need to keep working on it. All the best.
