A relationship is always built on mutual respect, love, and trust. When a couple gets married or starts living together, it is considered to be the beginning of a new phase in their lives. However, at times, down the line, things do not fall the way they are expected to. Little altercations, verbal spats, or disagreements over petty things are common in every relationship.
Couples fight and then they make up. At times the situation gets really sticky and one might start treating the other with disrespect. This is the root cause of an “abusive relationship”. Here are a few stats to get to know the frequency of abusive relationships in the United States alone. If you are in an abusive relationship, there is no point in accepting the misbehavior lying down. You should act immediately. Yes, we will talk about, how to get out of an abusive relationship.
Firstly, be sure if you are in an abusive relationship. In case, you are being subjected to physical violence from your partner, you most certainly are in an abusive relationship. Well, abuse can be of many types, which could be difficult to detect.
The most common form of abuse is definitely, Physical abuse. It refers to things like hitting, pushing, or any other kind of physical assault on the other partner. This can never be tolerated and is a criminal offense. Whoever commits such an act, should well be sued and put behind bars.
Another type of abuse is verbal or emotional. If one keeps on scolding or degrading the other partner over petty matters, it is a form of emotional abuse. One most common form of this is traducing the other person about his or her family background and parents. It could also be about humiliating one regarding his or her looks or reputation in society. It makes the other person have low self-esteem and may also lead to depression.
The most common form of abuse in a relationship is sexual. Many view it as an integral part of married life. Indulging in sexual activity should be done with the consent of both partners. Being forced to have sex is tantamount to marital rape. Moreover, many consider torturing their partner during sex a prerogative that they have as their partner. Making them do things by force that they are not willing to, do impacts the partners very badly. It makes them feel humiliated and they feel worthless.
The first thing you need to do here is, make up your mind that you are going to leave your partner.
Do not be in a state of quandary. Even after making the efforts possible, if things do not work out, take the tough decision. Living with a problem is not going to solve it, it will only get worse. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, for any help.
How To Leave An Abusive Relationship?
Here are a few things to note down:
1. You Need Money To Survive
If you want to leave your partner and start living on your own, make sure that you have the money to keep food on the table. You can start saving money secretly and if you are legally married, you can claim money from your partner. Open a bank account, in your name, in case you do not have one, and start channeling money to that. If you have a share in any property, it is high time you force your partners to divide it. Seek assistance from any knowledgeable person about this.
Start to disengage from your partner. Don’t let your partner know that you are leaving them. In case of physical abuse, it might escalate to injuring the partner severely. On the other hand, your partner might pretend to have mended their ways, only to start abusing you later. Do not talk much or show any interest in your partner’s life.
3. Stop access to any of your accounts
For partners who are very authoritative, it is only natural to force the other to give credentials to all the records, be it email, bank account, or employment details, whatsoever. Make sure that you change all the credentials and take the necessary steps, such that no one can access them. This is very important as your partner will not be able to access to finances and know your whereabouts.
Separation is considered to be the most painful period of one’s life. You need support from anyone, in such a situation. Reach out to your relatives or close friends, whom you trust. You need a morale boost at this time and take the smart decision of telling anyone all about what happened and why are you making this decision. As human beings, we need someone to sympathize with us in such scenarios.
5. No Self-pity
For many, a divorce or break-up means the end of the world for them. Do not give in to such thoughts as they are not going to lead you anywhere. You have to take an optimistic attitude towards life and never indulge in self-hatred. Pitying your own self is only going to weaken your willpower and make things difficult for you, do not let that happen.
6. Bar Him Or Her From Contacting You
It is a common tendency for many to follow their partner who is leaving them. You should not keep any option available for him or her to contact you. Block the phone number, email, social networking account, and chatting application account, as well. This will make you forget the horrible experience of the time you spent with him or her.
7. File A Complaint
In case you are not able to get rid of your ex at all, you can consider filing a legal complaint. This will not only put an end to the nuisance, but the court might make your partner pay you some monetary amount as well.
Most importantly, always remember that bad times do not last forever. If you are lost in the darkness of night, remember that dawn is not far away. Life is long and you are never late to take the right decision. You definitely will find a soul mate and have a happy married life. Learn from your mistakes and move on with your life!